Locus Reads Dumb Shit
Bobberton
2,432 plays

bobberton:

I present to you a serious misuse of my Locus impression. As requested by what can only be described as a flood of RvB fans with great senses of humor. For those who sent me more serious reads I want to put actual effort into those so they’ll be coming out soon. In the meantime send some more requests in, be it silly or serious, and I’ll see about making them.

Why are you so beautiful >^<

Aaaaahhhh thank you ;v;

luggaa:

somethingfangirly:

dreamer-held-captive:

puppet-not-master:

I will rip off your limbs and hit you with them

True friendship at it’s prime. 

You have gone blind and want cereal

Sebastian came to life and wants to marry me

So I may not be on very often or at all for a while. We don’t have internet and I have limited data on my phone. Sorry guys. ;m;

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

blxckbiird:

spaghetti-western-wannabe:

So I can either bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

nick nO THAT’S NOT HOW YOU BAKE COOKIES FRIEND

FLOOR IT?

NICK NO

HOW ABOUT 4,000,000 DEGREES FOR 1 SECOND

NICK YOU ARE GOING TO BURN YOUR HOUSE DOWN

I’M GOING TO HARNESS THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES

NICK P L E A S E

holyghoul:

im just a human bean

ihaveseenthed:

sucymemebabaran:

miniprof:

bird seller, i need your strongest bird

image

THIS WAS A MISTAKE

my birds are too strong for you, traveler

raptorific:

The improv team I was on in high school only had one rank: “co-captain.” If you joined the improv team, you were automatically a co-captain. It wasn’t to make everyone equal within the club dynamic or anything like that, we just all knew that we would have to list extracurriculars on our college applications, and you could make yourself look more impressive by putting “co-captain” without specifying how many other captains the team had or how a member becomes a captain. 

genderoftheday:

Today’s Gender of the day is: whichever

samniplex:

asylumattendee:

i spat out my water

Psst guys. That me in the photos. My girlfriend took the pictures

my-wayward-shawn:

thecutestofthecute:

chronicarus:

Spiders with water droplet hats are something I really needed to know about.

I have a bad phobia of spiders but this is freaking adorable alright

But why

askfordoodles:

cuddlyplaguedoctor:

hellyeahthomassanders:

Narrating People’s Lives: In the Aisles! by Thomas Sanders

That’s adorable.

I love how the dad does this side-glance at his kid like “You’re about to be embarrassed so hard, son”